thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
