I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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