soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
