we made out on top of his cat.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize