So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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