Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
