Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize