i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
