Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
