are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize