Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
