I'm drive I can fine osifer
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
