i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
sarcasm needs its own font
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
