I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Holy sore nipples Batman
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
