so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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