loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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