You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Vodka?
Forever.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
