i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize