Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
