we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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