I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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