Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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