I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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