I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
