think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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