Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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