I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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