I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize