You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Holy shit dude........stairs
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
