You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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