My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
