I CAN MOONWALK!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
