dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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