accomplished twins. life is a go
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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