Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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