I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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