dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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