At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
