Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize