i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
