i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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