Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
