dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
