I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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