i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
