we're blogging at a bar
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
