Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
