weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
God, I missed his penis.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize