She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
