that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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