was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
