I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
