We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
