so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
