whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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