I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
