a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
