Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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