Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
