i just wanna soil my oats bro
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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